coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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