lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
