I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No subtext here. People are naked.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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