maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
