Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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