i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
