You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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