Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
