Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
