god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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