I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ugly people sure do ruin things
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
