if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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