If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
