Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
