I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
