question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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