My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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