why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
