I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
