sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
