best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
