What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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