Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Couch. On fire.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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