hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
