Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
pray to the hookup gods
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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