Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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