Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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