$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
