Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
