Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
