I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
