Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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