Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
