Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
