Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
