I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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