I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
