So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my sisters under your porch take her home
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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