so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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