dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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