Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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