I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
