I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
