oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
