im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
