don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
