I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
