i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
