Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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