theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
