sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My ass is underappreciated
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
