We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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