So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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