would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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