Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
